A Mid-month Monday

[Lilac]

Dd2 and dsil are again dual home owners. This afternoon she took the little girls and I over to see it. Seeing the pool filled me with panic. There is water in the pool with a cover over it, but it is torn. We talked and talked to the little girls about the dangers of swimming alone, etc. etc. I really like the house except it reeks of smoke. I have never smelled such a smoky house. She picked up a bag full of spray, plug-ins and solid refreshers. The previous owners did not do any cleaning. period! There were even hairs and whiskers in one of the bathroom sinks. I already told her, I can't do those bathrooms. We had hoped to start moving things on Wednesday. Ha, that won't happen. We will be cleaning all day. The house is all hardwood floors except the closets all have carpet. She is thinking of having them cleaned. The closets all need painting, so we are going to do that also. Otherwise, they will be fighting the smoky smell forever. I think dd2 planned to clean tonight at the new house. I didn't offer to help, because I have my own things that need done.

Never heard from the guy about the gates. We decided to go ahead and order the door and storm door. Dh doesn't want to go with half glass because he said they can break in during the day, if we had gates and they were open. The storm door we originally picked out, you could lift from the bottom or the top and it would have screen. We decided to just go with full glass, because it doesn't make sense to have an opening window storm door. We fight the dust in that large entry way and it wouldn't work for us.

Our living room and dining room is so dark. The only window is a sliding door separating the rooms. We have decided to get an estimate on having a large window put in, on the dining room end. I would have to move one of my hutches further down the wall but we really need the light. So hopefully the price won't scare us to death.

Guess I better get something done................

[Ivy]

Kathryn-in-Canada, I've never heard of Opera. I use Firefox as a secondary though.

DH turned up the steaming veggies, burnt the beautiful silver stainless steel pan black on the bottom, but the veggies still were good. Had fish, too. Hopefully his stronger fingers can S-O-S the black burnt look away. He doesn't do stuff like that, so it's a shock when he does!

Been working on a snail mail catch-up. 1 divorced pen pal without kids, wants male pen pals. I sent her 3 friendship books to sign, to request male pen pals with her name/address. Now I've been tucking in friendship sheets for her, seeking men, into my pen pals' envelopes, in hopes she can find some men. Since she's single, doesn't have children, she might as well write men, to have companionship. I hope it'll work out for her. Once I get my pen pal newsletters/booklet, I'll check to see if males are listed, will send her their addresses & info about them, so she can write them. There are a lot of men who write women or other men, as a hobby, too.

Have a good evening, Everyone!

Oh, I read a quote: "WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE." I don't know if I've already posted it, but it's a super quote. It was on a reader board, didn't have the author listed.

[lucylee]

Impressed w/Mr. Ivy's cooking, even if he did burn the pan!

Got to go w/dh now to get clothes for dmil... * sigh *

Ooohhh... Ivy... my mind is conceiving some evil things re: d*not dear*bil.... He called a little bit ago and started telling me that "mom needs some gowns for the nursing home..." (Yes, I already knew that.) When I asked him if he might get those for her, his answer was: "Well... I was going to sit with her tonight, b/c, you know, I can only do nights and weekends... I'm trying to keep my office open... so you know, I'm trying to take the nights and weekends... of course, I'll probably have to miss THIS weekend (after missing YESTERDAY/WEEKEND, I'm thinking!!!) b/c you know, it's (dniece's) last dance of the year..."
Finally -- after I pointed out to him that we had been busy all day yesterday w/family concerns, and all day today with family concerns, and that I had fielded * I am not exaggerating * 65 * phone calls coordinating all this in the last 24 hours...
Then he says, "Well, what about (dcousins) can't they take up some of the slack on all this?"
I said, "Yes, (Only dgirl cousin) has spent all day trying to find dgaunt a dress, and conferring w/(dgirl cousin-in-law) re: flowers... and ds & ddil went to the nursing home last night and cleaned out her room... and they were ALL w/dh last night from around 7:00 until midnight..."
THEN, FINALLY, it seems to dawn on him that he could drive 1 mile out of his way before he comes home and get her a dress or gown, and take it back to the hospital when he goes in to work in the morning.

AAUAUGUGUGUGUGHHHHHHHHHHH!!

[Cowinkie]

Lilac... The paint on the walls absorb the smell of smoke because of the nicotine. My mother's apartment/condo had previous smokers and it reeked really bad. She had the carpets cleaned and that help but still it smell so you might keep that in mind.if you need to repaint make sure you talk to the people at the paint store. There are certain produces you can buy that will help. My brother who is a builder and contractor hAd to wash all the walls and ceilings.

Two other strange places to clean are the air vents and switch plates. Charcoal bricks that you grill with are great at absorbing odors. An open bag in each closet might help. Several times when I was moving long distances and wouldn't see my refrigerator for quite some time I filled both vegetable bins with them. And even after a year in storage my refrigerator smelled like brand new when it was opened.

[Lilac]

Thank you for all the hints Cowinkie. I just talked to dd2 and she is going to have the carpet in the closets cleaned, the duct work and the dryer vent cleaned. Tonight her, dgd17 and her boyfriend went over. She said they put out bowls of vinegar in every room plus bowls of oranges that they had boiled for 10 minutes. They removed all the curtains from the house. The only ones they will keep and wash will be the black ones from the master bedroom. Dd1 and that dgd17 stopped by to see the house. It ended up that the 5 of them started washing walls. Yeah, I won't have to do all this myself.

Dd2 is really excited. The master bedroom is painted gray and had black curtains. Dd2 had bought a new bedroom set, when they bought the last house. She didn't start using it until the garage sale, because she wanted to get rid of her old set. The new set is red, white, gray and black plaid.

4 of the bedrooms have the black adjustable TV holders for flat screen TV's. The previous owners left a TV on the wall in the downstairs bath. They also left a glass door refrigerator in the wet bar in the basement. I told dd2 that they probably thought by leaving those things, that they could leave the cleaning to us.

Dh has decided that we should get an estimate for the new window but we should wait until the more important things are done, before installing it. I think he is afraid with the long list of things we want done, that we are going to run short of money. I am hoping that it will stretch to do all we want done.

[Ivy]

Lucylee, I'm so glad it "dawned" on him, how HE could get this gown job done! 65 phone calls! POOR YOU! I'd be at the "funny farm," by now, if I were you with that many calls. WOW! Talk about overwhelming and nerve-wracking, too. You must have the Patience of a SAINT!

I don't envy you, but it DOES bring back memories of DMIL, while she was living and everything that could go wrong at ONE TIME- did! It was so hard to be "there" for DH and to bite my tongue and not say something too hurtful to him, about his Dmom. He's an only son/child. Also, after she passed away, he thanked me for all those years of putting up with him going over to her house, for my support, and not putting up a huge fuss. It made me feel so good that I bit my tongue a million times, when he thanked me so sincerely and lovingly. I miss her dearly, but it was quite challenging and so very hard at times. It's when I truly learned that there is a time and place to just keep your mouth shut. Now, I remember all the cute and comical things she said and did. She was too funny.

For instance, she once told me a little story about herself. She'd been in Penney's, at the perfume counter, she saw a bottle, and thought, 'hmmmm, I bet this perfume sure would make my hair smell nice!' And she took the bottle, sprayed it all over her brunette dyed permed hair. All of a sudden, a clerk at the counter started exclaiming, "Ma'am! Ma'am!", running toward DMIL with a handful of white tissues. "You just squirted perfumed HAND LOTION all over your hair! I'm so sorry!"

Then, once at our home, we were all sitting around eating in the living room chairs, a dessert, after having dinner. I said (I was obese at the time - 285 Lbs.) "They say if you're big in the middle- you're an apple, and if you're big in the hips- you're a pear. But I'm big all over, so I can't figure out WHAT I am." DMIL said, "I KNOW what you ARE! You're a FRUIT SALAD!" And everyone laughed, including me because it was a perfect description of me! I was so large, that I was BOTH an apple AND pear together. So, these cute memories come into my head, I laugh, it makes me feel so good, the good times were with her, and the difficulties we had and challenges, frustration, and at times, the anger, vanish. ♥

I'd better get back to a letter I'm finishing up. DH can mail them out for me tomorrow, if I don't go. Such a queasy tummy tonight. Dunno if it was from the batter-baked oven fish or what. DH feels the fish was too greasy, so it very well could be.

[lucylee]

I have not had a chance to reply to ANYTHING today, it seems. Everytime I get started, dh wants something -- or he wants the computer. We did decide to go on over to dmil's house and get gowns ourselves, (saying nothing to d bil, b/c the less said between him and dh, the better) and we took them to the hospital. We thought this way, we might avoid an early morning phone call.
DH is just sooo depressed, thinking OUR lives are over, we will be caretakers to our moms until we are so old we need caretakers ourselves, yada yada yada. I tried to talk reason to him, reminding him that he always said my parents would outlive his by sooo many years, since they are/were 20 years younger. Then lo and behold, my dad dies at 74, just one year after his dad died at 92. One never knows. DH and I aren't guaranteed that WE will have the years we need to be able to take care of our mothers... we just have to take each day one by one.

I have to admit these panicky kind of thoughts have crossed my mind, too... but I'm trying to stay in the moment. However, I did remind dh that after fielding 65 phone calls and still having the brunt of FINDING caretakers on MY shoulders, I certainly did expect the same kind of patience and understanding when it came my turn with my mom.

DH is going to be sooo difficult when that time comes, b/c my mom's parents both were put in the nursing home. Neither lived over six months afterwards, and in both cases, dmom had tried to get them to come stay with her -- but doctor advised that it was too difficult a task, and neither of her parents wanted to leave their home... until it was to the point that there was no question really. I just pray my dmom will not need care like this. Neither of my paternal grandparents did.

Well... 2nd load of clothes has just beeped in the washer... must go do that chore. I'm not really being virtuous... card file? What card file? I washed clothes b/c if I'm going to a funeral Wednesday, I needed to have something to wear.
I also did ONE virtuous thing -- 15 minutes walk away the pounds. I figured a little physical activity might save my sanity.

Lilac -- I must say -- carpet in closets only sounds so strange to me. What is under the carpet? Can they just rip it up and have hardwood or tile there, too? The house does sound nice in so many ways. Swimming pool would make me nervous too, but soon the little girls can learn to swim well and that will be a great skill to have for the rest of their lives!

Kathryn -- (((BIG HUGS))) re: your dd -- amazing -- how she wants an "excuse" for the move not to work... bless your heart... (((BIG HUGS)))

Can't see anymore in topic review to reply to, and can't remember what I've read earlier... at least -- so far -- this whole situation is not keeping me up nights. If I can just sleep a while... maybe I'll recharge by the time I have to start back in tomorrow.