ALL THINGS THURSDAY

[DeeClutter]

Thursday for me means getting out of here very soon. Told dh we had to leave by 8:30 for his Dr's appointment. It is now 8:22. Oh, hear him now I believe. On a mower.

Have a great morning. Better run.

Kathryn, that septic sounds like a big trouble spot for you. So sorry.

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

Lucylee: I think you hit the nail on the head with regards to your Mom. I know I was a wreck around her death/funeral anniversary for a few years after my sister died. Not quite the same with my parents or in-laws although I miss them all around their birthdays. Actually, I'm preaching on dfil's birthday this weekend and the date in my file names has been reminding me of him.

Knowing how I was with my sister's death, I can't imagine how devastated I'd be over dh's death.

[Kathryn-in-Canada]

I'm up late and still not s2s but will soon because I'm too hot in my dressing gown. Dug through my sea chest (where I keep linens) and found the summer duvets so they'll go on tomorrow morning and I'll remove the mattress topper as well so the waterbed will have a better chance to remove excess heat. In the winter it warms the bed and I use a topper to trap heat, in the summer, the bag of water helps draw excess heat away from me as long as the topper is off and there's just a thin mattress pad and sheet.

Not sure we'll need the winter duvets in the apartment. And know I won't need the featherbed (it didn't even get put on this year here) but will keep it because 1) it is expensive and 2) it turns a camping air mattress into a luxurious bed, or is something to soften a hard floor if one must sleep on the floor. If I do end up with lots of grandkids it will be used again some day.

Dh just came downstairs from his shower and is calling the second opinion company for the septic.

[Nancy]

Cough cough feeling better than when I first got up healing thoughts appreciated.

Hens fed.
breakfast x
qt & journal (it helps to turn the tv off for this). X
Kit. Spiff. X
Bake cookies x
Mow front yd. While it's cool out. X
I have a plan for dinner the left overs that we did not eat it was too hot to care about food last night.
N P & J Will all be here today.

[OKay]

Good Morning!

I'm starting to find my groove after struggling the past three weeks being sick. It takes awhile to successfully get all the balls in the air again.

(((Nancy))))

Kathryn - I'm curious if you have government rules/laws concerning your septic tank? When we had to make repairs to our septic system it was all dictated what we would do by EPA (government). The licensed plumbers won't touch a septic system without EPA design/approval. In our corner of the world, EPA carries a "big hammer" and knows how to use it.

I finally joined Audible.com to be able to listen to books. I have been resisting because I'm too cheap to paid $15 a month for the service, but decided to give it a try. The first month is free with 2 free books so I was lured in. I'm currently listening to Smart Money Smart Kids: Raising the Next Generation to Win with Money. One of my goals for the summer to start LO on commission system (instead of allowance).

[Lilac]

Our dbil is having triple bypass surgery today. It was suppose to be on Tuesday but had to be postponed due to his kidney numbers being too high. They said that it would have risked renal failure. So that is no longer an issue and they can proceed. He also has MS and diabetes, so this surgery is extra scary but has to be done.

I kept dgd4 on Tuesday. I didn't go ahead and take her to dance though because she was still coughing. The dr's nurse told dd2 that that was part of the healing process.

Yesterday was dd2's 38th birthday. I had invited her to lunch. She ended up keeping both girls home and ended up regretting that. They acted up all day and fought every other minute. At lunch they acted so bad that I commented that it is no wonder their dad doesn't want to take them out to eat anymore. After lunch, I ran some errands and then went back over there. They were still at it. Dd2 said that after a day like that, her decision was made and she would be teaching next year. At one point dd2 took her phone to her bedroom so that she could call the newspaper about an ad for the house. Dgd3 was sitting on the table. Dgd4 was about 2 ft away, sitting on a chair and they were playing with Barbies. They started fighting again and dgd3 threw a Barbie at dgd4s and hit her forehead. I picked dgd3 off that table and gave her several well deserved swats on the bottom. She started screaming and ran to her room. Dgd4 was howling. Dd2 came out and asked what was wrong and I told her. She told dgd3 to stay in her room and take a nap. She then sent dgd4 to the master bedroom to take a nap. I told dd2 I would stay there so she could go run any errands and have some alone time. Later dgd17 and her bf came in. I was telling them about how the girls were acting. They both agreed that dd2 is too easy on them. Dgd17 said that if their ddad swats them, then dd2 babies them. The only time dd2 swats them is if they have gotten on her last nerve and then she ends up babying them. Dgd4 acted horrified that I had swatted dgd3. I was still there when the girls woke up. Dgd4 came to the living room and sat down. Dgd3 stayed at the end of the hallway. When I was leaving I went to tell her goodbye and she didn't want me to leave. I was afraid that she would hold a grudge forever over those swats. But I think she knew she deserved them and that I was not just being mean, to be mean. I don't think anyone should use a belt or punch a child, but a swat or 2 gets the point across that they are badly misbehaving. I think, but it remains to be seen, that in the future when I tell those girls to do something or quit, they will know that I am serious. With my own kids, I very seldom swatted them but they knew to behave. Dd2 needs to be consistent and maybe they wouldn't act like they can. On the other hand they can be the sweetest little girls.

Dd2 ended up telling her dh the best birthday present he could give her, was to watch the girls and she went to the movie alone!

On Mother's Day dd1s dmil fell. 2 of her sons were with her but dsil went over to check her, since he is a nurse. Monday he called her from work and she didn't answer. He left work to check on her. She had fallen again and had 2 black eyes and bumps and bruises. He told dd1 that something needed to be done and he thought she was past being eligible for assisted living. Dd1 told me that she thought he was wrong. Tuesday dd1 went over after work. She told dd1 that she didn't think she had a bra on under her jacket. Come to find out, she didn't even have a shirt on under it. She asked dd1 how long she had lived here, who was her dh, what did he do? Then she was talking about her little dog and commenting on what her dh thought of it. He has been gone for 14 years and the dog is just a few years old. On top of that, she was just not acting right. So dd1 and her dh took her to the ER. They ran blood tests, CT scan, etc. The only thing they found was that she had broken her nose when she fell on Monday. So they sent her home. By then dd1 and her dh realized that she can never be left alone again. They both took off work yesterday. Dsil checked out nursing homes. Dd1 and her dh are taking turns spending the night at her house. Dd1 has taken off the rest of the week to be with her during the day. This weekend they are to go to the college town and move dgs20 back home for the summer. Dsil has a brother who lives 8 miles from here, he will take their dm to his home while dd1 and her dh are out of town for the day. I'm not sure how soon she can get into a nursing home but until then dd1 and her dh will make sure she is not alone. Tomorrow dd1 has to run to her school for an hour or so. I told her I would go to her dmils home while she is gone. I have told myself that when she does go to the nursing home, I will be going to visit her on a regular basis. She has 4 sons but 2 of them live 4 hours from here. The one that lives close has his hands full with his daughter and her 3 kids living with them.

So I have a day to myself. Since dd2 closed on her house April 14, I have spent so much time working hard to help her, but I can't seem to work hard around here to do my own work. What's up with that?

I am in the doghouse with my dm. My dnephews son is graduating from HS this weekend. Dm is not happy that I/we are not coming back for it because dsisil came with her to dgs20s graduation last year. Dh will be headed that way the next weekend for a 4-5 five day bike trip, so he doesn't want to drive back the weekend before. Dd1 and her dh have their plates full. Dd2 told me she could take me, just say the word. Welllllll she has the boys this weekend and there is no way I want to take a trip with her and the 4 kids. I love those kids to pieces but the 4 of them together, I can only take in small doses. I do not trust myself to drive 6 hours alone. When dh and I travel, I have a hard time staying awake and doze a lot. I just don't want to take a chance. I know dm is thinking ahead to next year when both my dgds17 graduate and how will she get here. We will take care of that when the time comes. I get really irritated because my nephews wives all act like we don't count any other time. I always send birthday cards and money to their kids, birthday cards to them and Christmas cards. They don't send us a Christmas card or pictures. What really irks me is that at least every other month dm and my 3 nephews go out to lunch. Those 3 always let dm pay for it. I just don't think it would hurt them to pay for her lunch once in awhile. She goes to all of their events, babysits, etc. They never buy her a birthday or Christmas gift or even a card.

I have had breakfast and meds but need to hit the shower. Guess I better do that and try to motivate myself to clean my own home, since I can do such a bang-up job for someone else.

[Lilac]

Just talked to dd1 who was in tears. Her dmil had a podiatrist appt this am at 8. They were 15 minutes late because her dmil walks so slow, getting to the car and then to the building. They did go ahead and see her but the nurse jerked her shoe off and hurt her. After they left her dmil had an attitude and dd1 doesn't know if it is towards her or what has happened lately. She said she feels like her dmil feels violated, having someone in her home 24/7. She also said that when her dh talked finances at the nursing home, it looks like it will be awhile for her to go in. Something about getting her income down to 20%. I don't think dd1 can handle this. I know she wants to but feels trapped. Once your kids are no longer dependent on you, it is hard to be tied down. Dd1 wants to get her dmil a handicap placard, because you can not just drop her off at the curb and have her wait for you to park. She is too unsteady. So therefore, she has to walk too far.

Oh my gosh, another call, more tears. After we talked she went back in the house and her dmil asked her why she was there. She told her that her ds didn't want her alone after the falls she has had. She told dd1 to leave so she can think about it. Dd1 asked her if she needed anything and she said "all I have is my dog". That is the biggest reason her ds is reluctant for her to go to the nursing home because she will not be able to take the little dog. I asked dd1 about her moving in with them and she said her dh was afraid the change of environment would be a problem.

I feel so sorry for all of them.

[Harriet]

Had a tornado sighting near here this a.m. at 7 and dd's school was actually on lock-down immediately after she got in the building, but I didn't realize it at the time. Updates from school by phone explain that they are ready to go into lock-down any time now as well, through the day. This storm band looks narrow (from north to south), but since it is traveling north, it just keeps going on and on.

Spent a little time with OKay's link in H and F (lessons in moving past a weight set-point).

Sent a birthday present.

((Nancy)) is it allergies?? I had to spend the night with cough drops two nights ago, then was fine and never coughed again, so I know that was some specific allergen.

Dee, hoping ya'll have a good dr's appt.

Lilac, I will admit to a guilty pleasure of watching Nanny 911 sometimes (dd15, for some reason, just loves the nanny stars) and they are always talking about consistency. When you mentioned your dd is sometimes strict, but sometimes babies the girls after her dh is strict, that reminded me. In some of the situations, becoming very, very consistent between the two parents helps. As far as the graduation, why not put some of the money you would have used traveling into a nicer, more memorable present? It would be hard for anyone to criticize that.

Lilac, I guess the hospital checked for the obvious, like dehydration and whether electrolytes are balanced? Those two problems (including sodium then being knocked out of kilter when more water was introduced) made my dmother act loopy once, but when corrected, left her her normal self. I hope your dd will be able to come to an understanding with her dmil - so hard when someone is angry with us.

OKay, that's a great goal for LO, that you would learn to teach him about money. I'll have to remind HRH that he once considered a subscription to Audible. Since he saved money recently on other media/tech, maybe he would look at that idea again.

lucylee, did you notice that "Tara" is the name of the new media darling, Tara the cat, who saved "her" 4-yr-old, slightly autistic boy from a dog attack in Bakersfield CA the other day? I immediately thought of you when I heard her grand, strong name to go along with grand, strong actions.

Dstepson and HRH have been here taping drywall corners, ready for more painting upstairs. Because dstepson has some time off right now, HRH is making time to be here and work with him. They have now mixed up my "recipe" for my stain in this house (half oak and half maple) and are staining the french doors to match. I popped out and got us all low-carb burgers for lunch - that's my contribution to the effort.

[Twins' Mom]

Oh, Lilac, I feel for your dd1! I know exactly what you mean tho about the nursing home because my dmom is much the same. Wants to stay at home because of her dogs. As long as I feel she's mostly safe I can go with that since dbro is in dmom's house. Did the doc/ER ck for a urinary tract infection? Also leaves elders feeling disoriented.

And another day enfolds in which our heroine sits on her tuchas! I really leave here with ds with every intention of having a productive day, but by the time I get back I completely lose my motivation. Or get lazy? This morning has been so cold that I've turned the heat back on to warm the house up, and got into bed for awhile. I also did a large amount of reading on vermicomposting. Definitely side tracked but that is something I'd like to do.

Trying to get moving....once I'm going I do okay....
-review to dos for today and figure out what I can get done and what can be postponed
-quick s2s
-walk ddogs
-reboot laundry
-DPC re pick up of console we bought

Harriet, I am thankful the stronger storms missed us overnight, and today is clearing.

[helia]

Argh! Lost a post again. I think I have so much on my mind that I'm not thinking correctly. I got home from moms group at 1 pm. It was a good meeting, the last one of the year, and it felt like there was good closure. Next week is the annual picnic.

I've had lunch. Dfriend says he won't be here until around 6 pm. I hope that is so. . .It is almost 2 pm, and I need time to get things ready for him.

I'm going to start with dd15's bedroom. It is pretty neat and clear right now, so that is helpful. I'll bbl with progress to report. maybe I'll do toths for a while.