Monday Mopup

[CathyS]

LucyLee check your area for widows groups. Some churches have them, plus you could check your local hospital, because I'm sure they would know of some groups dealing with grief.

I went to the morning and afternoon craft groups. There were no dirty dishes in our house this morning. No clean laundry waiting to be put away. The island is clear other than the toaster, toaster oven and bread, butter and peanut butter. The small compost bucket goes there as well. Dh eats his fruit in front of the little bucket. Two of the three cutting boards are away, so there is only 1 for him to get dirty.

I have 2 days ahead of me with next to nothing to do other than stitch and read. There is a massive book sale that I want to go to on Wednesday.

[MysteryWoman]

Good evening! Let me send good wishes out to all of you before I start stewing.

My therapist is back from sick leave on Friday (well, probably before, but that’s when my appointment is) — yay! But I have made so little progress while she has been away. I’m angry and frustrated and embarrassed and disappointed. On the one hand, I realize I can’t expect myself to do as well without her as I did with her, but on the other hand, she will be graduating in a few weeks (this is a resident clinic), and I will be without her forever. (My psychiatrist has pointed out that I need to be hunting for a replacement therapist now.)

I know everything’s going to be alright in some way, shape or form, but I’m still upset. I think I’m going to go to bed now in line with lucylee’s philosophy: tomorrow is another day!

[lucylee]

(((Harriet's dd))) And ALL in the Harriet-household as wedding day approaches.
DS here is taking a Muc*nex variety with something for sinus congestion. Reports it is helping. This cough thing that has gone around our family just hangs on. But dmom and I are basically over it, finally. He's still struggling, but says he is feeling better.

WTG Cathy, on the no dirty dishes, no laundry, nothing to do days but stitch and read! I love it when I can find a good book that I can really get into.
I just read "The Housekeeper" by Freida McFadden. I'm not sure if I recommend it or not -- the villain is REALLY a sick person, and it involves domestic abuse... but it was such a page-turner that I read it in less than three days. I don't really know anything about this writer, but she has a bunch of psychological thriller type books, and right now I am really enjoying that "didn't see that coming" kind of story.
I can't decide whether to read the next one in this series of three, however, because it sounds very much like the first one. The third book sounds a little different. All will involve the same main character.

* I am considering grief counseling and possibly looking for a GriefShare meeting; it has been recommended also.
I probably should be in the "older adult" class at Sunday School; there are at least five widows there, three who have lost their husbands in the past couple of years. But I hate to leave my age group class; even though it is all couples, they have all been sooo kind and welcoming to me.
(((Mystery))) We may both be looking for a therapist soon! I certainly understand that "angry and frustrated and embarrassed and disappointed" feeling. Hope you sleep well and tomorrow is a much better day!

Well, you'd think there'd be plenty of time to read with all these doctor appointments, but no, dmom doesn't allow much quiet time; she talks a LOT. I mean, I do too, sometimes, but sometimes I want quiet time. I go into the exam room with her because she thinks I will help her remember things the doctor says, if she forgets.
Y'all, today she told the nurse and the pulmonologist all about her bunion... her back... her recent abdominal cellulitis... her headaches... and of course, answered their questions about coughing, etc... but as we were driving home, she says: "I forgot to tell him about just recently having pneumonia." I said, "Yeah, that is probably something the lung doctor would be interested in."
And Harriet, dgd might be a good distraction, certainly if I have to do something AT dmom's house, or just general errands, but for these doctor appts, she's probably too much -- can't leave her in the waiting room by herself, and a third observer in the exam room is probably too many.

LadyM, you don't have to have experience with this type of loss; I just value your wisdom and insight. You remind me sometimes of DS; you always seem to have such a practical way of looking at things. You may not have lost a spouse, but you have certainly survived some stressful situations and you always handle things so logically and with such a good attitude.
Working through the basic routines IS one thing that is keeping me going. For the most part, I am keeping up with the four D's around here, too. The washer is calling right now and I do not have any dirty dishes either, Cathy! (Well, some in the dishwasher, but they aren't bothering me.) I ate supper with DS and grands, and I am keeping up with bills, etc.
WHB could stand a little boost, but the house is tidy and the bathrooms are not embarrassing. ZONE work is non-existent, but I figure right now, funeral-stuff is still the main zone for me. I called AT&T today, but I was in the car, and I didn't have my 4-digit passcode. I think I do have it here at home.

Nancy, LOL, I went to sleep around 3-ish. I probably need to write more on my own, not bothering you ladies with it. But I am still kinda paranoid about leaving something too personal behind for ds, etc. I really need to take some time to declutter a lot of journals and poetry, etc... but I'm not quite ready to do that yet. Just trying not to add to it, LOL.

Kathryn, THANK YOU for the push to start walking. You will ALL be glad to know I walked 15+ minutes after supper. Just me and the Lord. Really needed that time. Lots to be thankful for. I think I saw a heart in the clouds, too. Finished up listening to one of my favorite gospel groups -- from North Carolina, Harriet, The Inspirations. "I Just Heard from Heaven, and Everything is All Right Now."

Maybe everything isn't ALL right now, but y'all will be glad to know I think I'm moving out of the cycle I was in the past few days. Dmom and I had a nice day and there was no mention whatsoever of any travel plans to the beach or anywhere else. I am considering asking dmom to go with me tomorrow after her appt to go look at some possibilities for dh's tombstone. Not going to make a decision without ds' input, but might check out prices and styles.

I do feel bad that I burden you all with so much of this, ESPECIALLY during wedding week for Harriet!!!
But I don't know what I'd do without you. Thanks.

[Nancy]

Lucy L. You are doing great and we know it helps you to get it out of your head!
I am in an on line group, and have watched yt vid. that are focused on the above mentioned topic.
You are doing great and you do have a lot on your plate[s] these days.

I have been doing a bunch of brain dump type writing things I want to do or do better at.
Called future journaling technique or something like that.
I have been stuck not being able to do it for a while and got a break through tonight yea!
And yes this too shall pass.

I miss Sunday school. [Our church does not have that.]
I found an e-mail course on grief and that was helpful,
I also read some books on it too.

I have gotten some stuff cleaned off one desk and about half of that is done.
I need to and want to clean of the rest and other surfaces in my office and spare bed room.
I know I can do it and have a plan that works but some times the energy is not there might need to
have more water intake.

I was fussing in my journal the other day about not getting ot KFC one of my goals, I've not wanted to drive there.
So much other stuff to do, well... I found frozen KFC when I was at the store! Got some. Yea!
I know it's not the same. So now I have that and some chicken legs I made up ahead to have on hand.
And some that are frozen and to be cooked later. Refill the freezer is under way.
I got the chili in individual servings and chilling in the fridge and is ready to go to the basement tomorrow.
Got some done on my home blessing.

I've sweep
Moving mop to Tues.
Vacuuming Tues. as well.
will help with my steps.

I think I've been watching way to much yt. Today I listened and did some tasks that really helped!
Wind has settled down, it blew over my lawn chairs plastic ones. I left them it's cold out this evening.
I have been making a mental note of the things I've done and that is building my confidence back.
I wanted to see when it was raining but I worked on my office aka butterfly room instead it needed done too.

[lucylee]

Thank you, Nancy! (((Hugs)))