Fall 2024 cardfile/focus weeks

[blessedw2]

December 23 yay!
it's weird it doesn't feel like christmas but I am glad we are done with what we mostly "need" to do!

[blessedw2]

December 24, 2024
Merry Christmas Eve!
I finally have the feeling after decorating the tree but I am still in shock!

I woke up to dd younger tossing all her laundry downstairs and it's in the dining room.
I really am in shock that it's Christmas Eve!!!

recalling blessings

how to deal with the shock:
first coffee! breakfast done
another layer of jello thingy done

feeling lost on which way to go - so I will pick something.
8:20 am
kitchen is next dishwasher on check
wrote brother about mom's meds. Meds are in front door for brother
9:35 am another layer done on jello thing
1:07 pm all things to take with are ready - knock on wood
next rinse and wash dishes
finished in time!!!

[blessedw2]

December 25
Wednesday

yesterday was lovely!
I have to pick up mom at 10:30 am - d brother is going to be there a bit.
mom had an accident in the powder room and even though I thought I had cleaned it - still smells. poor mom.

time to get to work.

it's 9:33 am !!!!!! what!

we had a lovely brunch - I miss the large gatherings we used to have. Only 5 of us. Just be grateful - a good reminder.
making meatloaf, broccoli and cauliflower and baked potatoes done but needs to be cleaned up. I have a load of clean dishes in the sink.

dd older took mom home tonight - brother is there waiting. for her.
I have to admit she was 100 % there - sometimes that's harder! I feel guilty that I was ready to send her home bc she didn't want to stay here - I understand but it got old fast. She doesn't know that she is not always with it.

[blessedw2]

December 26, 2024 I enjoyed christmas but there was stress leading up to it. Even though joyful; I am ready to have Christmas over with!
regroup sounds like a great idea

I really want to see what I want to do this 2025
as a couple, a family, etc.

I have to stop feeling guilty about mom - a few days of great normal mom and then a bit confused and if sick really confused and tired. I feel guilty having her come here for the next 10 days but I can change it - I have a lady for tonight - what ever is best for her. I am not convinced that she would do well overnight on her own.

dd 's is struggling. It's hard to see her hurt and feel lost. I know there will be a better time. She truly is a wonderful person. She needs to work for a company. Working for oneself is not easily done. praying for a feeling of purpose, good work, happiness and joy for both of them and for dh, d mom.

okay time to work again. timer on for one hour.

dd came back feeling better - she went for a drive.

my cousins d boy is in the hospital = sweet boy praying that he feels better fast!!!

ordered moms food and it should be there.
dd older is going over there at 6:30 pm ish - time to get meds together for mom
5:50 pm

[blessedw2]

I choose happy today.

next counters done
flip flop done
took off christmas light holders off windows
dishes washing themselves
kitchen sink is clean
lunch eaten early
meds separated and taken
flip flop laundry again
next - wash dishes from lunch
put away dishes
spoke to brother
his sister in law is good
mom stain sticked her cloths and put them in the wash
got a sore throat and it slowed me down

[blessedw2]

routines
December 28

11:42 I am trying my best - it may not look like it in the house with everything out but I am trying my best
4:27 pm
4:57 pm dogs fed
5:32 pm I could fall asleep. time to room to room - being tired like this will stop me from getting ahead.
went to bed at 8:30 and didn't fall asleep until 10:30 pm

[blessedw2]

I have a little sadness - life is changing again. isn't it supposed too! I am wondering if my ability to adapt and see things in a positive light is struggling a bit.

I have decided to write down where I am when this happens and what things I can use to adapt!

1. sad that the girls are in Florida - it's good for them
2. Feeling bad about myself that I am not keeping up - falling behind. steps
3. life is changing again.
4. I feel like I want to experience life that I had before the broken ankles. my time outdoors in the middle of the woods frightens me. mom is here.
5. needing to adapt to mom's needs again. when she is here she is great. her memory, her health are great most times.
6. redo my routines and stick to them.
7. dh's breathing is bothering me -very loud- he is fine but he trac is very noisy - silly but it still frightens me.
8. dd younger and work and future -happiness for both dd's.
9.
10. my family and the craziness about my mom's property - unhealthy boundaries. unhealthy people that affect our lives and shouldn't be part of it. it gets old. no trust - makes one feel like the floor will always drop - dd's said that. I agree.

what can I do:
right now I am sitting here and the floors are filthy - I think I need to get shorts on and start on area of floor.

[blessedw2]

January 1, 2025
yay new years -

I am exhausted! mom was up before light - she goes through loops of thought.
I need to figure out how I will deal with others this year that is positive for my family.