Not much happening here. DGS spent the night; he and I both slept till almost noon! (Of course we both stayed up till around 2:00 a.m.) Anyway, when I got up, he was still sleeping so soundly, that even though he told me to wake him when I got up -- I decided to go ahead and s2s and that was a good thing -- did my morning stretches, made up the bed, and then woke him. We watched our pastor's message on FB while we ate lunch. Every day since this whole biopsy thing started, I wake up nauseated, so I take 1/2 of one of those Klonopin (sp?) pills and this morning I took a Zofran also. Then after lunch, I slept all afternoon.

(I did try to watch some of the Broncos/Bills game,
Cathy. Of course, I was pulling for the Broncos, because of Bo Nix and the AU connection. But sometimes I just have football or basketball on tv because it seems more like when dh was here.)
Tonight, I went to Burger King with DS and family. Now I'm back home alone, but I'm okay... watching Seinfeld.
Snow is still here -- I mean, patchy spots where it hasn't melted yet. My roof is still covered and about half of my front yard. OTOH, almost all my mother's snow had melted by yesterday. School is delayed for two hours tomorrow.
Anyway -- three more sleeps till the biopsy. I was going to send a message to my church ladies -- we had a text group titled "Sunday School Ladies" so I think it only goes to the women -- but now I am ashamed to ask. Just got a message to remember one friend who is having hernia surgery tomorrow, and the son of one of our members who is in ICU after a very small cut on his hand turned septic, apparently. Now my biopsy fear sounds ridiculous.
Talking about scripture notes -- DDIL gave me a spiral notebook for sermon notes -- it's about 5x8, about the size of my Bible. I try to keep notes, partly to keep my mind focused. Sometimes (often times) I am short on sleep on Sunday mornings and I will have trouble staying awake in the church service. Taking notes helps. Like Harriet mentioned, there is no topical organization or anything, just a week by week record. I do try to go over the notes later in the day and read the Bible study notes in my Bible for the scriptures.
Harriet, I've just gotta say... I am a little relieved that my dh never made a pet out of a mouse.
(((
Blessed))) I can't even imagine how hard this is for you, wanting to do what's best for your dmom and the rest of your family, struggling with her changing moods. I truly admire the way you are handling all this, and I pray God will continue to give you strength and wisdom for the hard times. I do know that medication helped my uncle to calm down and not be as hateful to my aunt as he was before. Unfortunately, "hateful" was his default setting BEFORE dementia began, but it got worse and we were all getting afraid he was going to be physically violent towards her. Before she passed away, she told me that the medication had helped a lot. However, I think he did spend more of his time sleeping after he started taking the medicine, so that might not be a good solution for you. I don't know the name of what he was/is taking.
Mystery, I'm still enjoying my tree, and I still think I may leave it up, as an act of faith, until good results return from the biopsy. I have everything else on the dining room table, except the Nativity scenes and the snow village. * Oh -- and the wreath on the front door! I keep forgetting it! I never use my own front door.
While we ate supper (in the car) we watched a YouTube (I think) of Tasting History. DS and DDIL said they watch it a lot. The guy does different foods and tells stories about their histories -- this one was about gout, and the association with red meat, alcohol, etc. And of course the connection with rich people, the disease of kings, etc. Anyway, he made a venison dish with some sort of wine sauce. All his episodes don't involve famous people though -- DS said the last one was about lunchroom pizza.
Y'all -- have I changed? I feel like everyone is doing stuff and having fun and I can't really see anything in my future. Maybe I never had anything interesting to talk about before. But I don't know... it just seems like the rest of my life is just... empty. I don't WANT to add another person (man) to my life... but I feel like I will never travel anywhere again or attend any kind of event or do any of the things dh and I used to do. And I don't WANT to do any of those things with anyone else. I can't even imagine having anyone else in my life, and if anyone approached me, I'd totally have a panic attack. But as it is, life sorta seems hopeless, except for dgrands. I don't think I could stand anything in my life today if not for dgrands.
And then last night, I realized that dh's tombstone is going to be installed in a few months probably, and my name and birthdate will be on it also, and it just sounds so depressing.
I'm sorry I always end up with these sad thoughts. Maybe if I ever get past this biopsy fear, I will be able to function again. Being on my own is just still such a new thing for me. Nine months today. I'm sorry to be so self-centered.
BTW -- I KNOW you are not ALL having fun and doing things... everyone -- Every Single One of You has something that is worrying you in your family or your own health (((
Harriet))) and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I am continuing to try to keep a gratitude diary, and I am praying for all of you and your families tonight. A lot of my friends here "IRL" are facing scary things too. One of my best friends is waiting on her husband to have a heart cath/possible stents and can't do it till the 20th.
Jerry Seinfeld just said (in the program) "Why do I always feel like everyone else is having more fun than me on Saturday afternoons? They're out having picnics, making out on blankets..."
I guess this is a common feeling... especially someone in the first year of widowhood?
Surely I won't feel this way forever.
I hope you all have a great day tomorrow! I don't have to get an early start, but I will be taking dmom to the pulmonologist at 1:00 pm. Tuesday she sees the surgeon (who did her intestinal surgery the year before last) for a routine check-up at 2:00 pm. (She thinks he just keeps her coming for the $.

) Then Wednesday is my day... and if I am able to do anything afterward, I have to help with Wednesday night supper at church and teach my class. Maybe one night this week DGD will be making up a ballgame from the two she missed this weekend. Saturday she is supposed to have a game. So that's my BWP.