2025!!!!! Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, winter again.

[blessedw2]

February 9, 2023

this week continue working on my mental and physical health!

dh has not had a temper tantrum in one week. Very nice.
I still feel like on high alert but it's been nice to say it's been one week.

[Harriet]

Happy for your calm household, blessed.

It is always such a disappointment to learn that there is something wrong with our physical house. That seems very threatening. Also this idea that if you kept getting more opinions you would finally get one to leave well enough alone, lol. But for the future, we have to face tough decisions now and then have happiness in cared-for space later. I hope everything goes well for you.

I am back to just one card, then stop. One card, then stop. Have mopped bathroom today and feel really good about that. Not my best job, but done.

[blessedw2]

One card at a time is amazingly wonderful - the rest in between is so important!
look at you d harriet! Well done!!!

February 10, 2025
I have to be very careful today with d mom - she keeps bring up something that is hard for me to go back to - part of me feels anger at it/yes it's anger - not devastating mean anger but hurt- but anger is never good. She made a choice something that affected all of us and dd younger was just 14. we all want to remember the good but it is a painful subject-it hurts us when we talk about it. I don't want to say "you chose it" just like when she decided she didn't want to come home for christmas unless there was a company party - then she would fly in.

Sometimes past hurts can come back but it's the past. We all make decisions. It does hurt when she brings it up but I have to remember she wants to talk about those memories that meant a lot to her - not to be mean but how she saw it. I have to be better.

I have to do better with this:
enjoy her stories - know that the surprise talk will come and I have to have a better feeling about it - it's my problem.
let her talk about it when dd's are not with bc it still hurts them.
find the good and bring pictures up that bring out the good

starting my day late - didn't expect that. I let my ADHD take over.
when people are sitting it almost pulls at me to sit. mom has been sitting and talking in the kitchen all morning - but I am in control of my actions.

I tried to put on the tv - nope didn't work

my goodness I run between really? and laughing out loud.

opinions are easily given - not to hurt - but if I hear one more - well or I guess it's your house but why would you do that -
mom said if my opinion is not what you want - than do what you want no matter what anyone says very nice but after so many opinions this morning I I am going to have to put blinders on and stay in the lane I want to do.

- it's just that I am easily swayed to try to accommodate what others wants - because there is always a - I wouldn't do that - what do you need all those seedlings for - etc. etc. laugh at it.

mom also sat next to me all morning and then I let that be my excuse to get sidetracked. Not her fault. Why do I want to make everyone happy! What makes me think that I have to adapt to what they are doing so that I think they are busy and happy.

flip flopped laundry
repotted two plants

[blessedw2]

it's a new day!!!

mom has a physical therapy appointment and I am stopping at Kohler with her.
she already said she doesn't need pt but it - she needs it.
she is very funny this morning - she said of course I am perfect and smiled -

found out dh's appointment is actually next week - almost better as we have snow coming - you never know.
his breathing bothers us - especially at night - I can't imagine what it is like for him.
he sounds clogged and that he is constantly trying to clear the clog.
he gets a new trac next week.

emptied dw
cleaned sink well
cleaned counters
hung up laundry
airing out mom's sweater
I think I might hang it outside -
mom/me meds
flip flopped laundry

mom is okay in the cloths she wore yesterday but she changed her under things which is wonderful. I have new cloths but she needs stretchy cloths - her tiny pants fit her everywhere but her belly - sometimes they fit to a point with a rubber band through the button hole and button - sometimes they don't close at all. at to dr. questions
she has lost many of her socks - I have noooo idea what sock village they have gone to. She is down to two socks - I found another! yay!

mom is talking about animals being killed for food and on the farm bc that's what they had to do. -my heart doesn't do well with it and I am trying to get her to change the subject - she spoke how the germans took their food and their animals -but some farmers could pay them off to leave their things alone.

now she is talking about grandpa being a prisoner of war - and all the hard things - then she said it is what it is. my heart needs cheerful discussions right now. (discussion changed - yay)

showered and now to get dressed for moms appointment
she is dressed but I need to rebrush her hair

dh dirtied the sink again right after it was spotless - I smiled at him and mentioned the sink - he smiled back and said he didn't notice what he did and will clean it. - lasagna soup all over the sink.

[Twins' Mom]

I hope ya'll have a good trip out, blessed.

[blessedw2]

thank you d twins - have a wonderful day as well!!!

[blessedw2]

good day! what I am seeing - STUFF OUT - I mean stuff out! WOW IT CAN MAKE EVEN A CLEAN HOUSE LOOK DIRTY.
I might take a cook video of the first floor and where stuff is to get an idea of what needs clearing. I can easily get used to stuff and won't see it until I leave the house and come back.

dd older mentioned that she was wondering when dh will react again - I have to admit that I am glad I am not the only one to have noticed it. He has been very good for a week and a half. Thank goodness that I am keeping a journal now. we did have a good (not mean) giggle about how far he went behavior wise - hovering over the dining room and the dishes was particularly interesting.

okey dokey time to pokey
mom is waking up -
so weird: dh and I were talking about the date. today is dh and my dating anniversary 48 years - we were teens

I so enjoyed the quiet this morning

timer: 9:41 am
it's 1:34 how did that happen
Mom up at 10:30 am fed her breakfast and gave her the am meds
bp/hb/oxy taken
she went over her calendar
and what was happening today
I went over my card file
flipped laundry
dh did some dishes - I would rather mom do them but he feels its his job. I have mentioned it before but he wants to do them - let him do them.

mom is very off - she could not remember her next step in getting dressed - it took over an hour- she came out of the bathroom over and over again without washing up - or dressing - even if the cloths were right in front of her. I can talk to her but her abilities to think through an action is not there today. chatting fine

Getting stuck - pull a audible book and get to work
3:00 worked on dd Youngers room - that she left in a state. depression is a nasty thing.
she has too much little bitty stuff. laundry is downstairs - most and everything else in on the bed.
I need to purge a bunch of stuff.

I was working upstairs and mom wanted to know what to do with the laundry that I threw down and while I was working then she needed me to let the dogs out. I love to stay focused but I am going to have to accept I got something done. mom wants to go through my garden container of books and seeds - I will work on it but I have to focus.

I vacuumed the stairs to the basement - I need to get rid of the stuff (dd's stuff too) out of the basement - I can't afford to redo the floor yet.
dishes are done but need to be put away
many rounds of flip flops to the laundry.

[blessedw2]

things I have to work on again - I havent' been cooking - I need to keep it simple so that I do cook
we have been ordering in and it is expensive.
cleaning angels are coming today - It has been 11 days since dh reaction - that is a good amount of time

cards pulled: clean garden tools
finish laundry from dd Youngers room
Move soil in garage if it isn't too cold
clean one spot from rug in basement
take the box that came with the christmas tree to curb for tomorrows recycling

dailies - Thursday is usually errand day but not today

mom hand exercises done
meds am done
breakfast done

still working in laundry room - surface dusted walls
surface rinsed walls
cleaned top of dw and dryer
flip flopping laundry as I go

I can't get mom to stop sitting

I had a very good work day!

[blessedw2]

I never got mom to move yesterday - she was up last night and then had nightmares about going to the hospital. We mentioned that she needs to be on a routine - she started well this morning!

the girls can't see mom can not go to Florida - they think that she will do better - they don't grasp the dreams can seem real to a dementia/alzheimer person. She doesn't remember to eat or drink most times.

I am finally ready to start: 10:07 am is late but it is still just a time not the whole day.
it's 1:02 wow

mom has been great - dressed, pt done, med done, washed the utensils etc.
I am tired! turns out I have a headache coming -
took a tylonel hope it works fast - I let it go too long - slept the afternoon away
it was good I did.

not good for mom as she just watched tv.

[blessedw2]

a new day - gosh I love saying that.

dh has been struggling with his trac - too stubborn to call the dr to go in earlier.
He doesn't want to face it and uses the excuse that there probably wasn't an appointment available
he should have gone in four weeks ago

dd older thinks mom would be better outside of our house - more independent - she should go back to Florida - bottom line is I won't let dd younger be a caretaker again bc she puts her life on hold. dd's think it is a good idea - they think mom is capable if she gets help for her meds/food/etc.
physically it would be better but she doesn't leave the house there unless dd younger takes her out. mentally she does have dementia - it ebbs and flows. she is on the 9th floor with a balcony - maybe I am over worrying. I don't know what's right any more.
dd older says I changed dd Youngers life - like she is supposed to suddenly change - it was going to come anyway and dd wasn't moving forward but is now.

oh well what does thinking things over and over again do. no action - just sitting comes with it.

A NEW DAY

cards written for today's heavier jobs.