Sept. Cards 2012

[blessedw2]

dnancy... I so understand the critical nature of critical parent, there may be love there - they love you and you love them but oh what they can do to our self esteem! So glad you felt better with the distance - it's amazing how much better we are when no one criticize us. We just have to remember how absolutely wonderful we are!

Great job journalling!!!!

Thank you d Elly! I always wondered how many she's have had critical loving family members - there are those great things about them and the not good for us things about our loved ones; esp. those high unrealistic expectations of the ones they love.

ddyounger is home not feeling well.

I am heading back in the basement after this break. I am getting to the little things that make my brain hurt lol
well I feel rested - rested for a whole hour on couch
I will think about what needs to be done to help me focus. stepping away was a God send! It cleared my mind.

tomorrow: dentist 9 am 3:15 ddyounger hair appt. goal: dh help me empty crawl space of girls stuff so that they could go through it Saturday
sat. ddyounger tennis - 2:45 pm and she goes with ddolder shopping, sunday: take dmil to church ddolder takes ddyounger to church

I have to think about a nice dinner for dd older that she can take back to school

[ellyphant]

blessed--Have to confess that I am actually born organized. I just like to hang out with all the ladies here! When I don't get things done, it is pure laziness or procrastination. When the kids were little, I kept up with them, the house, paperwork, and was outside sawing limbs off trees when they had naptime. DMIL would visit and look around in disgust saying, "Everything runs like clockwork." What I didn't do was take any time for myself! Now I take too much "me time" sometimes! As for my DM, she was very "unmotherly", but I learned what I needed to learn from other family members. As I have gotten older, I realize that she may be mentally ill.

Well, that's my story. Probably doesn't belong under Sept. cards!

[blessedw2]

I LOVe that you born organized!!! and taking time for yourself is so important. I am glad you are here d ellie!

yes I also have learned what I needed from others but also from dmom - i have also learned that she, esp. now as she gets older, much of what she says comes out of her own genuine concern (lol most times). I Also learned not to take what she says to heart any more and have learned to step back and see where it is coming from.

I also realize that I no longer have to feel defensive as I know I am okay; I know I am a good mom (lol most times), my house doesn't suffer from CHAOS any more (most times too) but I do have some things I have to work on for sure. . I used to think I was a failure - my mom had much to do with that but she has come along way in the last 10 years - most in the last 5 I think. I also know her obsession was devastating to me and my oldest and affects my youngest at times but because I am stronger, dd younger can say no she doesn't want to talk about it. But I notice my dmom REALLY trying. I also realized I would not be who I am today - trying to see how people are and why they are who they are and try not to judge because of my experiences. I do think that all the time my mom wanted to make me strong - had the opposite effect. my family aren't yelling people thank Goodness but I used to take to tears and defensiveness when it came to my dmom. whats nice now is we have a better relationship because I chose not do continue this way and having a lovely woman to help me through the issues I no longer played the victim with anyone and am able to let that person own their own issues rather than taking them on.

it's funny - I was always known and told as the "nice" person - but I found I could be kind and nice and still do what I need for me and my family (also in a kind but straight forward way without feeling guilt.

I look at Growth - it's all good!

have a great day!

[blessedw2]

my goal today:
continue with basement - have help with pulling out the boxes for dd's to go through tomorrow - separate according to dd older and dd younger - also have to support dd younger when she sees how much stuff is hers.

so today: continue putting away to get ready for tomorrow
Do one thing in focus room
I have a fearful dentist appointment today
3:15 dd younger has a hair appointment
I have to make dinner in the morning as I find if I don't do it ahead of time I struggle with having a balanced dinner ready.

A NEW DAY - HOW EXCITING!!!

[Nancy]

Today's goals;
mow and paint on the chicken run.
I've vacuumed the man cave yesterday. Yea!

Now that autumn is here the Fall Decorating Card is up.

Declutter & rethink Costumes;
This is actually an Oct. card but it's so close I"m putting it up now. It's a great time to de-clutter weird or odd clothing, fabric, bangles,
hats especially with a theme, thrift shoppers can use for costumes!

Other cards you might consider at some point.
When kids were small I had an after school routine card.
One for Desk day pay bills schedule appointments, make phone calls.
Errand day get stamps, mail letters, pay bills, return library books, fill Rx, book club, store run, book club, Bible study.
One for Heavy clean or Light Clean every other day this is what P & P suggested.
I have a list of fun for my me time card crafts, sewing, knitting projects I do.

[blessedw2]

love that card Idea

ready to start my afternoon: had the dentist - done

[blessedw2]

well its 12:44 and my add nature looks like its getting the best of me - so I have been using my wipe off board and writing 2 things to do at a time in my dejunking and organizing and then erasing it as i go.

i don't think the getting rid of things is so hard anymore as making the decisions of "is it me at this moment?!" and having to touch and make decisions of all the things I have - whether to put away with like things, toss, donate or put away.

it's all that thinking that is hard
well back to work - I wrote down what I needed to do and erased as I did them.
since we have to leave soon I will put rug cleaner on spot and take what I can reach and separate into ddolders pile and ddyoungers pile of things they have to go through tomorrow.

going down memory lane and thanking pam and peggy, the organizer (cindy?) who started this web page and all the women here that make this site possible.

[Harriet]

Cynthia (CEO) started the site before this one, blessed, and thanks for jogging my memory about that because this site is about to reach the anniversary date again. I might mention that on the date, if others don't think of it.

elly, procrastination is definitely a part/type of sidetracking, so you can be absolutely born-organized and still sidetrack by putting things off. Indiana used to talk about this in her life. She felt that perfectionism was involved for her. Perfectionism definitely sidetracks us, too!

Good job to all who are learning more about their parental family dynamics and learning to respond to them. I had mine all figured out but now I have a "new" father who no longer makes sense, and has come to live right in my house! So I am starting over. It is very difficult to be the child who has always been respectful, if not downright obedient, and then realize that no, for whatever reason, it can't be that way any longer and you have to disagree or even put your foot down.

I might need that "schedule appointments" card idea, Nancy.

Tomorrow will be a big card-turning day for our household.

[Ivy]

Nancy, Does P & P suggest a heavy-cleaning day followed by a light-cleaning day?

I was thinking about doing certain cleaning on every other day. Like assigning certain rooms on Tu-Th-Sa and assigning other rooms or chores on M-W-F and leave Sun. sacred or my Spirit day, for reflection or reading, etc.... I don't know if I could do a heavy-cleaning day every other day.

elly, I've heard that (this is me, too ) if you want things to be "perfect" that you'll put off starting to do them, because you want them to be perfect, but you know, honestly, they won't be, so it's almost as though, subconsciously you're thinking, 'why even start'? But not meaning to. This is how it happens with me, sometimes. But I think I'm a bit "mixed" BO AND SHE! I never know what to expect from myself.

I need to write the name of my antibiotic I'm on, for an appt. next week, so the dr. knows I'm on it. Also, I need to let my regular dr. know I'm not taking Benefiber because they stopped making it, so I'm using Optifiber instead. Cards are so smart! I mean, using them is a smart thing.

I like how you can take a card and write, "On My Mind" things on the blank side, too.

blessed, How was your fearful dental appt.? I hope it went well for you!

The dryer dinged me, so I need to finish putting the laundry away before bedtime.
Goodnight, Everybody! Sweet dreams, too.

[Nancy]

Ivy Do what ever works for you I like to heavy clean do errands or what ever the next day and then a lt. clean the day after that.

Put away summer clothes card is up. X
Get out winter clothes card is up.

Seasonal cards that are up
Clean gutters after leaves fall.
Lawn mower upkeep h. does this one.
Wash windows outside " "
Haul off limbs leaves to eco. I help with this one
Go to dump I help with this one too.