Recoup the rest of the Year - Wednesday

[lucylee]

Probably can't post for long -- dh will want computer soon -- but Lilac -- you did not offend me, and I know you are right! I'm not keeping score w/dbro -- just stating that, sometimes, for all practical purposes, I have felt like an only child. HOWEVER -- NOT AT THE MOMENT!!! Dbro is being WONDERFUL!!! Dparents will fly out on Wed., and dbro is going to meet them on Saturday and stay probably until they come back home. I am sooo sooo SOOO glad of that. He doesn't mind flying and has no one to consider except himself; whereas we do have obligations to ds/ddil/dgs, as well as dmil.
Nooo... I know I will do whatever, whenever, I am needed. It is not a problem w/actually BEING there for dparents... it's a whole host of anxiety issues going back forever, some related to ddad/dh... some just related to the fact that I just a panic attack looking for a place to happen. Travel anxiety... trying to please everyone anxiety... (dh/ds/ddil/dgs/dmil, along with dmom, ddad)... guilt-trip anxiety... it's all ME -- not worrying about keeping score w/dbro. Just wanted to clarify that issue.
* DS/DDIL will NOT be trying to make me feel guilty, either, about having to be away from them when/if I do have to be out of town for any length of time. That is all in MY head, too!

Of course, I am still holding a prayer that the people in Houston will say, "Nope, Mr. Lucylee's Father, your condition definitely does not warrant putting your body through the stress and risk of a stem cell transplant. We think This Other Treatment would be much more advisable for you."
That may just be selfishness in me, but I truly think it is my ddad and dmom's prayer as well.

Just got home from movie -- Parental Guidance, w/Billy Crystal & Bette Midler. Ooohhh... it is sooo good!!! I loved it! I laughed out loud and I shed a couple of tears, too! I give it two thumbs up!

Thanks for the (((hugs))) and support and prayers, everyone... and thank you all for having confidence in me! I love you girls!

[Lilac]

Harriet, I have always been a stickler for thanking someone for a gift, either in person and/or by thank you note. My other thing is sending cards for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and sympathy cards when needed. From the time we moved away from family in 79, I always wrote a letter to each set of grandparents and dhs dgrandpa, when I sent a card. When dhs dgrandpa died, one of his daughters told me that he always appreciated that I wrote a letter. Dm has said that her dad always bragged that I always wrote him a letter with every card. For the 2nd Christmas, he has been gone and I miss writing him.

Dd1 and her 2 kids have done the shoebox gifts at church. This year she bought for 4 kids on the Angel Tree. She bought each an outfit and a toy. Then at the last minute they found out about the lady who had just moved here and had no gifts, so they bought for them, too. Dd1 told me today that she really hopes neither of her kids have kids. She would rather help others out than to be involved with grandkids.

Dd2 is better at helping people she knows. She had bought 2 nice gifts for each of her sick dsisil children plus a lot of stocking stuffers. I had bought 1 gift each and a game for all of them. I chose to concentrate on sending $$$ to the medical fund to help keep their mother alive. In hindsight, I just realized that dd2 and I should have involved the boys in buying the gifts for their cousins. This is their dads half sister but he doesn't want anything to do with her and never has. His dad and stepmom were divorced by the time dd2 and her ex were divorced. His stepmom and 2 half sisters have always joked that they got custody of dd2 and the kids in the divorce.

I have accomplished next to nothing today. Tomorrow I need to clean house, again. Friday I will buy groceries and run errands. Then dm will be here Saturday and stay until Wed. That is at least 1 day too long. On top of that dh has decided to take next Monday off for another 4 day weekend.

We have to get ourselves in gear and pick out carpet. This carpet is a very light solid color. You can see footprints and vaccum tracks in it. It can be steam cleaned to look new. Then the stains gradually pop out. Dd2 paid to have it cleaned before we moved in. I think every stain has finally surfaced. I keep telling myself, they are clean stains. As I was cleaning for the holidays, I realized that I have had enough of this. We have never lived with carpet like this before. I think the only reason I have been able to deal with it is because we do have the money for it, we just didn't have the desire to make the decision and then deal with the mess of the carpet being torn up and moving all the furniture around. But it has to be done. My younger db can lay carpet, along with his construction skills. I have thought about having him come out and do it because work is slow for him in the winter but dm always says if I do she will come out with him. That is all I need the 2 of them here and my house tore up.

I need to tear myself away from this computer and get to bed.................

[Lilac]

Oh lucylee, I wasn't saying that you keep score. I don't think that at all. I was talking about the damage it caused in my friends situation when her and her sister each took a stand. Their mother suffered because of it. I am so glad for you and your parents that your db is stepping up to the plate. I am saying the same prayer for your ddad as you are. Oh and lucylee, I can identify with you on travel anxiety and trying to please everyone anxiety, plus guilt trip anxiety. Yep, I hear you and have btdt.

Thank you, lucylee for the movie review. I am thinking that dm and I plus dh if he wants, should see several movies, while she is here. That one was one that I wanted to see for sure. Have you seen Guilt Trip yet?