Thank you for that reassurance,
LadyM! And you too,
blessed. (((HUGS))) for you and your dmom.
In the GriefShare meetings, the leader said that there are three milestones, I guess you'd say, where we just have to get past it, and maybe accept that our grief will be stronger at these times -- at 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year.
I guess six months coming right here at our anniversary time is just too much for me, in some ways, but I am managing.
I did call the lady from the teacher group. She always makes me feel so good -- she always acts like she is my biggest fan, LOL. I have no idea what I ever did that impressed her -- I mean, I taught her children, but they were all super students and so I never saw her on their behalf for anything -- but every time she sees my mother, she is always telling my mother how much I mean to her. She is such a sweet person herself, that I really treasure her compliments and I just always feel better after talking to her.
Fortunately, there are no real health problems going on with her or her husband; they are refinishing floors in their house and she just felt she couldn't get away Tuesday for our meeting.
And of course, the bug lady is a person I consider a friend, after all these years. Her son and my son became friends. We never see each other socially or anything, but she told me when she started to leave, "Now, of course, you call if there is any pest control issues, but you also call me if you just want to talk. I really mean that." I know she does, and she is just a good, solid person -- her husband and one of her sons are preachers. She is one of those people who say "I'll be praying for you," and you know she will be.
Oh --
blessed -- to clarify -- ds plays in a professional bluegrass band that travels all over -- this weekend he will be in Arkansas. But two Sundays ago, a local church had booked them to play at their morning worship service. So that's why the dgrands and I went to see them.
We do have an occasional bluegrass band at our church, and ds plays with them also, but that's usually like a Fifth Sunday kind of thing or for special occasions. I guess ds had a lot to do with getting that started. When he was still in high school, just starting to play in front of people, our youth director asked him to play in church. I really did not know how that would go over in our little conservative Methodist church. I mean, we're used to the pipe organ, you know. But to my amazement, they gave him a standing ovation. Well, the choir director played guitar, one of dh's cousins played bass, the youth director's father played fiddle, and we discovered we had a mandolin player in the congregation -- so it just became a thing for them to do special music at random times, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how many people really liked bluegrass.
Well... now what to do... I folded a small load of the dgrands' clothes while talking on the phone and the towels and underwear are in the dryer now.
I need to exercise... and I need to think about what to eat for supper (because this week has been really lax as far as good nutrition goes. I think my main meal yesterday was a large bag of gummy worms.
)
Two more thoughts:
"Being kind to others is mostly about your actions.
Being kind to yourself is mostly about your thoughts."
-- James Clear
"In any moment on any given day I can measure my wellness by this question:
Is my attention on loving or is my attention on who isn't loving me?"
-- Poet Andrea Gibson
This last one really hit me, because as I was talking to dmom I was complaining a little bit about my cousins who I feel ignore me at times, and my friend/dmom's friend who has kinda "ghosted" me since dh passed away, I realize I should spend my time on showing love TO others, rather than worrying about who is neglecting me.
Hmmm... .. I'm so cheap I don't want to open another packaged one I have here, to let it start drying out, too. So tried using Elmer's on my fingertip, believing I was only using a little, and made some papers/pages wobbly. So, desk organization it is. Will try to have that under control by this evening.
I wrote out some affs. in my personal growth notebook as I listened. 
