FLYing Friday
Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2023 7:29 am
Flylady's name came from fly-fishing, but she set FLY to mean:
Finally Loving Yourself
That concept I've found enlightening over the years.
Pam and Peggy understood they weren't like 'other' people. It is interesting that over the years, with the introduction of computers and phones and the internet that the ranks of those who are easily distracted are rising so we aren't as much of an outlier as we used to be. But the truth is that most expectations, learning methods, time management methods, and life-management methods are designed by people whose brains work differently than ours.
When they wrote From Pigpen to Paradise, ADHD wasn't really understood or diagnosed. And especially not in adults. Sure there were always physically hyper kids (mostly boys) in our classes and many were on meds, but the idea that especially girls brains were as hyper as the boys bodies were was a foreign concept when I was in school. So I was distracted, not ADHD because I was not running all over the place or jumping off desks, disrupting the class.
Pam and Peggy were life-shifting for me. I had never felt 'seen' but anecdote after anecdote let me know they too experienced my clash of intentions and focus; my love of embracing the world getting in the way of getting me and my kid out the door to playgroup.
It is logical there weren't many books or systems to turn to in the early 1980s. Side-tracked people may not be able to get their act together enough to have a system to share. And even if they do, they may not be able to promote/publish that system because of how easily distracted they are.
That Pam and Peggy were able to do so was a HUGE blessing for me. I was finally no longer alone, wondering why I couldn't do the simple things people who were much less smart than me could do.
Perhaps I missed the focus on accepting ourselves in my first implementation of the SHE system. I got the book from the La Leche League group library and only had it for a month to read and implement while trying to parent a 7 month old, and I know I missed the part about PUPA every night! Maybe there was a piece about loving oneself in there.
But Marla added that piece for me, embracing who I was and learning to work with those gifts instead of focusing on the gifts I didn't have. By then, I was also dealing with ds's dyslexia and the program we were following also focused on the gift of dyslexia, something to be used rather than something to be fixed.
After my concussion, when the post-concussion depression settled in, brought on by my inability to focus enough to work with my gifts as I had for 3+ decades, I told the doctor that I used to like my brain and how it worked even though I wasn't 'normal' and I no longer liked it, or myself. That's why I chose to start ADD meds instead of the offered meds for depression. And that's what flipped a switch for me (although that switch is hair-trigger now, thanks to the pandemic and depression is always lurking.)
That's when I realized how important the Finally Loving Yourself piece of the P&P/Flylady system is.
There are an awful lot of challenges in the village right now, so I hope that all of you are at least able to say you love yourselves. If not, that might be where you need to put your focus with those few minutes you have each day for yourself.
Finally Loving Yourself
That concept I've found enlightening over the years.
Pam and Peggy understood they weren't like 'other' people. It is interesting that over the years, with the introduction of computers and phones and the internet that the ranks of those who are easily distracted are rising so we aren't as much of an outlier as we used to be. But the truth is that most expectations, learning methods, time management methods, and life-management methods are designed by people whose brains work differently than ours.
When they wrote From Pigpen to Paradise, ADHD wasn't really understood or diagnosed. And especially not in adults. Sure there were always physically hyper kids (mostly boys) in our classes and many were on meds, but the idea that especially girls brains were as hyper as the boys bodies were was a foreign concept when I was in school. So I was distracted, not ADHD because I was not running all over the place or jumping off desks, disrupting the class.
Pam and Peggy were life-shifting for me. I had never felt 'seen' but anecdote after anecdote let me know they too experienced my clash of intentions and focus; my love of embracing the world getting in the way of getting me and my kid out the door to playgroup.
It is logical there weren't many books or systems to turn to in the early 1980s. Side-tracked people may not be able to get their act together enough to have a system to share. And even if they do, they may not be able to promote/publish that system because of how easily distracted they are.
That Pam and Peggy were able to do so was a HUGE blessing for me. I was finally no longer alone, wondering why I couldn't do the simple things people who were much less smart than me could do.
Perhaps I missed the focus on accepting ourselves in my first implementation of the SHE system. I got the book from the La Leche League group library and only had it for a month to read and implement while trying to parent a 7 month old, and I know I missed the part about PUPA every night! Maybe there was a piece about loving oneself in there.
But Marla added that piece for me, embracing who I was and learning to work with those gifts instead of focusing on the gifts I didn't have. By then, I was also dealing with ds's dyslexia and the program we were following also focused on the gift of dyslexia, something to be used rather than something to be fixed.
After my concussion, when the post-concussion depression settled in, brought on by my inability to focus enough to work with my gifts as I had for 3+ decades, I told the doctor that I used to like my brain and how it worked even though I wasn't 'normal' and I no longer liked it, or myself. That's why I chose to start ADD meds instead of the offered meds for depression. And that's what flipped a switch for me (although that switch is hair-trigger now, thanks to the pandemic and depression is always lurking.)
That's when I realized how important the Finally Loving Yourself piece of the P&P/Flylady system is.
There are an awful lot of challenges in the village right now, so I hope that all of you are at least able to say you love yourselves. If not, that might be where you need to put your focus with those few minutes you have each day for yourself.
Anyhow, I’ve been a sucker for matcha flavor since we visited DSIL in SoCal before we had kids, and I had green tea ice cream. Mmm….
and today I am hoping to handle one thing and only one thing at time.